My cyber friend, Les, wrote this amazing, insightful commentary this morning and it's too good not to share:
From: Hubmaster@aol.com
I’ve been a different man since I developed SIA.
You know, when you’re young, you’re easily intimidated by the so-called mores of our society that dictates how you are supposed to act, what you are supposed to wear and what you are inclined to say.
All my life I heard from my two spinster aunts (no one would marry these viragos, harridans, “castrators:,” whatever God rest their heartless souls!) about all of the things that I was doing wrong and how I was rapidly becoming the black sheep of the family. Everyone in my family did things better than I did, it seemed. Exactly right; not really an ego-building environment because all of the ego was already used up.
Whatever I managed to accomplish, they accomplished it better, faster and smarter!
I guess that was the reason I was so eager to get away from everybody, left home young, joined the Army, became an adviser and disappeared for four years plus!
When I got out, I lived in California, Florida and Boston before coming home for a fortnight before moving out to my own pad and my own freedom and a home that I was never to return to.
And you know what?
Somehow, despite all of my failings, I actually was able to survive. Without all of the guidance, without all of the minute directions and details of what I should do and without
Becoming an activist in the First Church of Science where my aunt was a mucky-muck!
Now, my old age is proving the happiest time of my life.
Why?
Like I said before, after I developed SIA.
And I have to tell you, it’s contagious.
For those of you not familiar with SIA, let me explain.
It usually accompanies your AARP subscription. It means that you are now in your fifties, and you don’t have to explain anything to anybody anymore. You don’t have to smile when you don’t want to. And you don’t even have to be nice. On your time off, you can laze around in your underwear or your bra and panties. You can listen to the worst music on the air. You can rob the refrigerator; you can eat with your hands standing up, you can burp without fear~….and you can live.
Most importantly, I don’t have to put up with anyone’s bullshit. I can tell it like it is without fear of having somebody toss it back at me. And I can ignore anyone who is a complete asshole. I don’t have to be nice to my son-in-law’s parents, and if they don’t like it, who gives a rat’s ass. That’s what SIA is all about!--which is short-hand for Screw It Anyway…
My guiding philosophy.
Under a heightened condtion of SIA, I have told clients to pack their bags, I have turned down jobs, I have chosen to let my wife go visit the kids while I indulge in all of those cheap B movies that I love, I can cook all those heart-wrenching great foods that cut down on your life, I can get on the Internet and stay as long as I like and I can tell some idiot to suck lemons if that’s how I feel.
Ah yes, old age has its blessings.
Between you and me, I’ve never felt so good in my whole bloody life as I do now as an old codger. And I make sure that I go on the record in my local newspaper, and during all the meetings I participate in. Over all, I have never changed the fact that I am a curmudgeon. Why am I curmudgeon. Because I was once an Idealist. Idealists always become curmudgeons in their old age.
In fact, I wrote something the other day that I got back a few days later from Joe with a picture of Andy Rooney. I read it before realizing that I had written it originally.
But it sounded just like Andy Rooney. In fact, it sounded so much like him, that I sent it to him. If I sound like Andy Rooney, I feel I am in pretty good company.
But between you and me, I’m having a field day. So there….
Hurry up and get old and then join me in expressing yourself any way you like!...
It’s the nearest thing to Heaven!
Les Aaron
www.lesaaron.blogspot.com
Les,
ROTFLMAO ! I have been reading your commentaries for several years now and as the years rolled by I started noticing that you were writing more and more like I was thinking without the "kiss my ass" routine that I usually insert when I try to write what I am feeling.
When I got to your sentence "It means that you are now in your fifties, and you don’t have to explain anything to anybody anymore", I literally ROTFLMAO because it was exactly what I have been saying for over ten yrs now!
I have had a great case of SIA for over 10 yrs. and I am loving it! I didn't know what it was called but I damn sure have it! It took a couple years after 50 until I got into the real swing of SIA but damn it has been fun since then.
And all this time some people almost had me convinced that I was a bitter old lady! Bitter my arse! I'm the Proud Liberal Bitch!
YeeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaaawwww and now I have a cyberSIAmate! What more could one ask for in their old age? LOL
By the way what do you call a female curmudgeon? hehehehehe!
I have to post this at my Proud Liberal Bitch blogspot! If you don't like it sue me!
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